Time

It's been a year since Laura died. It's not that she was my "best friend" or anything like that. It's that she was family. She was someone I trusted. Like, really trusted. Like, the kind of person you don't censor yourself around, at all. I know that I always knew she was close, but I don't think I ever really thought about it until after she was gone. I remember talking to her on the phone through so many different phases of both of our lives. She would be in college, I'd be in the back room at my office at work. She'd be in Charleston, I'd be walking down the street in San Antonio talking to her through one of those crappy corded earpieces. She'd be in Florida, recovering from an injury and attempting to fish for alligator with sausage. I was on the phone with her when I got the news that I was being deployed to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She was the last friend I talked to before that shitty adventure.

It's hard for me to miss people. Not actually. I mean it's hard for me to miss people publicly. I don't want to paste anything to Laura's facebook page because it's filled with people from her life all over the world, from her lives all over the world. Most of them I know nothing about. It doesn't feel like the place for me. That's not where our friendship lived. It was between us. And so how do I carry that, when it's just me?

Today was a hard day. We were back at the hospital for a bone and CT scan. Won't find anything out from either of those until Monday. Surgery is likely to happen next week. I'll keep you posted, internet.