Balls...

Let's face it, blog. I'm bad at you. Even when I shouldn't be. Even when I have things to write about, like when my car gets hit by a douche on his phone. Or like when I get the rejection letter from the school that was simultaneously offering to give me a full ride.

Yeah, my car got hit. I was following my brother to get something to eat after work two days ago and there was someone stopped in the middle of the road making an illegal left hand turn. This was not a huge problem, as there was plenty of warning and my brother stopped behind this person and then I stopped. And then I heard tires shrieking for just a split second, and then they were my tires. My tires for a second more, in an attempt not to slide into my brother's car in front of me (I had virtually this exact same accident play out in much the same way exactly ten years prior, with the notable difference being that my attempt to not hit the car in front of me was not successful then). I didn't hit my brother's car.

We all pull off into a side lot and wait for the police to come (45 minutes). The driver of the car that hit me apologizes again and again, and I assure him again and again that he has nothing to worry about, that accidents happen. It was a bummer, as having an accident on my title is something that is going to reduce the value of my vehicle, something I've taken great pains to protect, but oh well.

But then he makes a mistake. This guy, this guy who I didn't really have any hard feelings against says something, sheepishly. "Yeah, I just looked down at my phone for two seconds." He lost me. If he'd had the wherewithal of a fence post he would have seen my face go from "don't worry about it, man" to "get away from me, ass stain." He didn't.

People, Sara in particular, sometimes think that I tend to overreact to situations which piss me off. The truth is that I have a hard time understanding how other people deal with them so calmly. When I see other drivers swerving all over the road and then casually chatting away on their phone, I seriously want to ram them. I want to pull them out of their vehicles and give them the beating they deserve. They are recklessly endangering my life so that they can fart around with their spoiled-ass technology and feeling entitled about it the entire time. Driving is not a right.

Rejection letter last night from law school. After calling around about it today I come to find that it was because they based everything off of the information that they had in their file as of last year. Even though I already updated everything and essentially handed it to them on a silver platter (through lsac, the law services governing body), it seems that somewhere along the way one hand stopped talking to the other. Whatever. I can fix this if I want to resubmit everything, reapply, rewrite my letters, and then call to make sure that it all gets done properly. I can probably get this all done and be ready to start just barely in time for the September deadline.

But now the question that I have to ask myself is: Do I want to? Do I want to spend the next couple of weeks busting my ass so that I can barely make the cutoff to be ready to start, still have to deal with getting my scholarship processed, and then deal with financial aid to make sure that I can afford to live (that we can) while I'm in school, just in time to hit Sara's surgery and recovery, just in time to hit year one, which is notoriously one of the hardest things a person can do in their education.

I have to admit, that I'm leaning towards no, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should admit defeat. I was supposed to be relaxing this month. That was the plan. Then I would hit school super hard and wouldn't have any other distractions. Instead, I have every other distraction imagineable. Maybe it really is in my best interest just to put this off for a few months (it doesn't have to be a year). They have classes starting in January. Maybe I could get all of my ducks in a row. Sara would not have just completed surgery. In fact, she would be partially done with chemo, and could potentially even have a steady job then, maybe even with insurance. I mean, it's entirely possible that if I just hold off a little bit, that maybe I'll be able to do virtually everything as planned anyway, instead of killing myself trying to get it done.

Still, I've already stalled for a year. I'm getting impatient. But the truth is, that probably my biggest concern with when I start law school has always been that it means putting off having children. I suppose that's something that's going to be put off, anyway.