I keep wanting to write something about how I've never had a job that I couldn't walk away from before. I mean, the military. I couldn't exactly walk away from that. But that was different. That was planned. And, perhaps more importantly, I couldn't be fired from that. This is not to say that I think that I may be fired (although, writing blogs from work is probably not the best thing in the world. But I do my job, and I do it well, so who cares how I use my spare time?), but the pressure of not being able to be fired, not having the flexibility to be fired if push comes to shove. Well, this vexes me.
The reason I can't leave, of course, is the insurance. But I've always been in a position where if someone pushes me in just the right way, that I can feel comfortable taking the moral high road. That I can say, "look, you just made this about more than professionalism, and if you think that you can stand there and talk to me in the tone or voice or words or face or whathaveyou, that you're using, then you are poorly mistaken." Because no job is worth more to me than my integrity. Never has been.
But now.. well, now everything's sadly different. Now, if someone starts to get a bit lippy and think that they have the right to treat me as less than a person because I have to put up with it. Well, now they are kind of right. I do have to put up with it. I just hope that I'll be able to when that moment should happen to come. This makes me really more nervous than it probably should. But there's a lot on the line.
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